The Sting of Disappointment

Ooooh, the sting of disappointment is something I know we all try desperately to avoid.

I actually heard a line in a show last night that one character was saying to another…“Assume the worst, so you can avoid the many disappointments in life.”

I suppose that is one strategy for living. But ugh, it honestly makes my skin crawl and I have a visceral reaction to such negativity. Now, alternatively, in my life because of my repulsion to negativity, I have at times lost sight of reality, ignoring what is. I don’t recommend that either.

I do acknowledge, however, that life on any given day contains both blessings AND challenges, victories AND disappointments, wins AND losses.

Now you must be aware of the drawing power of both. They are not equal. 

Our brains are hard-wired with an attentiveness toward negativity for the sake of our survival. So though both blessings and challenges occur on any given day, you may find yourself more easily focused on the challenge or the negative experience.  Continually doing that is exhausting, to say the least, and will lead to a less than desirable existence and a whole lot worse things if left unchecked.

So how do we balance the scales? 

Get on offense. Some researchers estimate it takes about 7 positives to counteract 1 negative.

Simply put, to balance the scales and ultimately win the day, you must see more good than bad.

So how do we do that with the strength and weight of even a little negativity in our lives?

1. Accept this is reality, the simultaneous existence of good and bad daily.
2. List what is good, your wins, and gratitude for them daily.
3. Train your brain to see the good everywhere ( this will take training ) so that at any given moment, you can share what is positive, a win or you are grateful for.
4. Equally important: Train your brain to see these problems, disappointments, or challenges as opportunities or goals. ( This too will take training )
5. Absolutely refuse self-pity!

This is the necessary emotional readiness and mental fitness it will take to win the day, that wins the week, that wins the month, that wins the year and creates a life well-lived. And absolutely a superior way of living than just planning for disappointment.

Be careful not to pride yourself as a realist when you are really just guarding your heart against disappointment. Cynicism is not a strategy for long-term health and happiness.

I know this may sound trite…but it is true.

Truly – change your thinking, change your life. 

As always, if you need more help with this, we are here. We are filling our next Mastermind currently, so if you want to know more about how to live this way, please set up your personalized Vision Session here.