Why and what do you suffer from? If you have ever suffered at the hands of someone or something else, I am so very sorry. Sincerely, I hurt for you.
However, this email is to help discern whether your suffering is at the hands of another or self-inflicted. No relief can come until that is determined.
And the bad news is, believe it or not, most of our suffering does come as a result of choices we make, and often unknowingly. THAT is the greatest deception of all.
But that is also the good news. IF in fact, a large portion of our suffering is a result of our choices, then we have some control over that.
I have been pondering the great mystery of why some move ahead and some keep repeating their misery. Why do some who have been released from jail commit crimes again? How about the governments given the opportunity to govern themselves falling back into an autocratic rule? Why do so many lottery winners go broke after a short time? Why do so many fall back into addiction after breaking free and being clean? And how about us, how is it that so many women repeat that self-sabotage when they get so close to their dream? Yes, it happens and I see it all the time.
This craziness continues because as women with choice, we look at others doing what we hoped for a dream of having our BIG chance. Then when that BIG chance comes, we shrink saying ”Oh no, I couldn’t.”
It all comes from the same thing… learned helplessness that leads to inactive passivity and eventually a numbing acceptance of “This is just how life is”.
…UGH I WANT TO SCREAM when I hear or see this behavior in fabulously talented, big-hearted women!
That is why many of the aforementioned populations suffer, at their OWN hands.
And no matter where you are at, I bet there are areas of your life YOU do not like and suffer with because you have settled.
And I saw this happening in my life…the creeping blame game. I saw it in my friends’ lives as they blamed their husbands and upbringings and on and on. They know there is more for them, they have great visions yet cannot find their way to that next chapter.
THAT is why we exist here…
The result of LYV is that women move from inactive, numbed-out passivity and learned helplessness
to
Empowered, elevated, enlivened & emboldened clarity, mission, and purpose in their lives. They become connected, directed, focused, and motivated to achieve their visions.
HOW to STOP the SUFFERING?
Bad news or good news, you decide…but in my experience, it takes time and maybe a bit harder than you realize. It takes a steady commitment to personal growth and learning how to think differently…just like exercise.
LYV is a year-long journey and often that is just the beginning, hence the reason we have created Expand Your Vision, the alumni program. Once many women taste what is possible by hanging up their helplessness, they get hooked. I am one of them. I intend to grow to be unrecognizable even to myself by next year.
I have committed my life to personal growth which leads to spiritual growth and professional growth and relational growth….btw it’s THE only way I know to stave off suffering at my own hands and honestly minimize the effects of suffering at the hands of others. THIS is my ticket to freedom I have found. And who knew God had placed that powerful choice in my hands ALL along?
Seriously, the way I have committed to WIN the battle of passivity, and learned helplessness that inflicts so much suffering (since God offers choice) is to decide to get help to think differently (I have my own coach that I pay happily because it is an investment), surround myself with others that refuse to fall victim (LYV community) and put into action what I am learning daily (take action on my personal vision).
Now I may not conquer all areas that have plagued me, but I intend to go out swinging, to take my last breath learning, and to remain willing to grow and pursue it.
Why do you suffer?
Have you accepted that…
“That is just the way I am” or
“That personal and professional and spiritual development coaching thing is for others” or
“Maybe someday” or
“I can’t afford to invest in my training to change, everyone else needs x, y, z” or even
“I did that. It helped a little but here I am again.”
…if any of these are your so-called reasons, then I have proved my point…YOU too suffer at your own hands of settled and accepted passivity and helplessness.
I know this is a hard one to swallow…but a little truth time is always good for the soul…I am having this conversation with myself too right now. So we are in it together. We are much more used to not asking or even thinking about what we need and then getting resentful or disappointed we didn’t get it. No more, it’s no regrets time my friend. I am choosing to own this fact and then feel the power and freedom that comes with that.
Ahhh, it feels so freeing to get a new perspective.
Writing this is so cathartic. I hope this is helping you too.
Need a plan? Catch the replay of the ReInvent Your Life Training Series, it’s full of mind shifts ( it’s the last week ), and set up your own personal Vision Session to create your own personal action plan.
STOP the suffering at your own hands and watch the quality of your life soar.
We are in it together!
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