It is always amazing to me how many highly accomplished (successful by anyone’s standards) wives, moms, beautiful single professionals, and spiritually mature women come to me for help with their confidence. This once again proves to me that confidence can not be built through adding more and more external accomplishments.
These are highly accomplished, very responsible, and deeply caring women that I have the great privilege of working with so it is particularly illuminating when we do this simple little exercise to determine their own level of credibility and ultimately their own confidence in their own eyes.
Ready?
Ask yourself ….. On a scale of 1-10 ( 1 being never, 10 being always )
Q1: How often when you say you are going to do something for someone else, do you do it?
Let me guess your answer…” Almost always”
Findings: Most of the women I ask this rate themselves between 8-9.9
Q2: How often when you say you are going to do something for yourself, do you actually do it?
Let me guess your answer here…. Hmm, is it different?
Findings: Ahhh, this is eye-opening…Most of these highly successful, overly responsible women rate themselves from 3 to 5.
That differential creates a credibility gap, a deficit in their own confidence, and is rarely looked at for confidence issues. More often than not, it is some lack of accomplishment, some trauma, or some other external.
Every time you say you are going to do something for yourself and you don’t do it, you cast more unbelief and distrust of self in your own mind. The damage is compounded and becomes such a habit that you don’t believe what you say about yourself or to yourself as you repeatedly blow yourself off. Now this may have sounded noble to do EVERYTHING for others and ‘deny yourself’, but really what is the long-term effect of blowing off YOU and your needs, wants, desires, and beliefs?
I am not advocating self-centered living as you well know by now. But the confidence deficit is continuously alarming to me for women who really are so amazing.
Here is the good news. This is something you can control.
You can start with very small things.
Make a promise to yourself today even a small one, like going for a walk, and then DO it!
Do it again the next day, something small.
And repeat and repeat and repeat for 7 days in a row and then let’s talk about how you feel about yourself. You are closing the credibility gap and boosting your own trust in yourself to do what you say FOR yourself.
Try it and let me know how this goes.
We need you to believe in YOU.
You have what this world needs.
Can’t wait to hear.
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